Hello, there!

Hey there, internets! It's great to be back after a long absence.

Since we last spoke, so much has happened. I finished my teaching certification in December, dealt with 12 little crazies throughout my second year of teaching, cried a lot because of said crazies (among other things work-related), celebrated our second anniversary, threw a surprise 40th anniversary party for my parents, came close to mastering the art of pie-baking, accrued approximately 258 hours of kitty cuddle time, chopped my hair off, quit my job and swore off teaching for the foreseeable future, and finally got some pillows for our living room. Meanwhile, T went back to school full time in the pursuit of an engineering degree, which is incredible and I am so excited and proud of him! 

What a year.

Now I find myself where I was two years ago: unsure of what I should do with my life. Right now I'm looking for a job to support us both as I figure out my next move. Part of me feels like I failed. I hate being a quitter, but I just couldn't handle the emotional toll of my job and desperately need a position that doesn't involve me getting attacked by children on a near-daily basis. 

When I decided to quit three months ago, I cried. A lot (of course). I just kept thinking, "Why can't I just work through this job I really hate right now like a real grown up because we need the money and benefits? Why does it seem like everyone else around me has their life figured out and I'm over here deciding to quit a good career? What on earth am I going to do now?" But T and I talked it out and he reminded me that quitting doesn't equate failing and that very few people stick with one job for 30+ years. That made me feel better. 

Man, he's the best. 

So, who knows what's in store for us?  I am equal parts terrified, excited, relieved, and determined. 

beep-beep-beep

i think i might've said this before, but i thought that getting married, moving out of my parents' house, and getting a big girl job would change me and make me more responsible.

and yet, here i am, sitting in my living room at 11:10 pm writing* a paper that is due tomorrow.

i guess some things never change.

*by "writing" i really mean that i am deciding who was best and worst dressed at this year's oscars.

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in other news, the lease on t's car is up soon and it's making me feel things.

the sudden appearance of these feelings is completely unprecedented as that grey-purple scion is not a car i drive at all (it's a stick shift and i am stick-impaired), nor ride in very often (we usually drive my trusty subaru). and, in all honesty, it's just a car! who cares? 

apparently, i do.

today we decided to drive t's car to get some food and as he unlocked his car and it made that familiar triple beep noise before we got in, i was completely transported to a different time and place.

on june 6th, 2012, i heard that same noise as t and i walked to his car when he came to pick me up for our very first date. i remember feeling incredibly nervous and panicky about the date and finally spending time with t in person after spending many hours talking on the phone. 

as i got into t's car this evening and slid into the passenger seat, i looked over at t and remembered how he stalled his car on our first date because he was so nervous (in t's words, he was captivated by my beauty, but i know it was his nerves). it was the perfect icebreaker. 

the very same thing happened to us on our 4th date just a few days later. we had a lovely (windy) picnic in daybreak and decided to go to the nearest DI to find some art for t's office. we definitely found art (in the form of a poorly-translated motivational poster) and a gorgeous sunset. we watched the sunset from that DI parking lot and i wanted T to kiss me SO BAD but i didn't want to be forward. T started his car after a few minutes and it stalled once again because he was so nervous. that was it. that was our sign. we had our first kiss sitting in that car, while brand new played on the stereo. i remember feeling indescribably happy and thinking that this guy could be The One.

about a year later, i married that guy in a beautiful ceremony with all of our close friends and family there to celebrate with us. after the ceremony and party, we drove away from southworth hall on center street in provo as husband and wife in that very car that served as our transportation on our very first date just a year prior. as we drove to park city through provo canyon and marveled at the events of the day and how excited we were to finally be married, i sat in my passenger seat, looked at my new husband, and was filled with so much love for him.

and now, 1.9 years later, i found myself standing in the driveway, still madly in love with T and watching my best friend and love of my life get into the car that is part of our history. that purply-grey scion is a supporting character in our love story and i'm sad to see it go.

it's amazing how a simple sound can invoke so many memories.

it's been real, scion. thanks for the good times.

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now that i have that out of my system, i suppose it is time to finish this stupid paper.

ciao!

rays of sunshine

it has been a hellish two weeks. but even though work and school are completely maxing out my stress levels, there is still beauty and love and cheer to be found.

for example:

• walking into my cozy little apartment and seeing my cute little family (husband+cat one+cat two) all snuggled together on the living room couch. 
• using a teaching strategy i'm learning about in lab with one of my students successfully. there's nothing like the look on a kid's face once they realize that they totally understand what they were struggling with previously.
• aromatherapy (specifically this and this and this)
• any time jimmy fallon does a lip sync battle. the most recent one with paul rudd is especially amazing.
• this song has been my work commute pump up song the past week. i really didn't like this album too much on the first listen, but it has really grown on me and i listen to it every time i'm in the car. GROOVY.
• last saturday, t, karl, and i went to the dollar sale at randy's and we got some pretty great stuff. i am particularly excited about finding ELO's album "out of the blue." i blasted "mr. blue sky" the second we got home. we also went to a couple of my favorite spots like vosen's bread paradise (where i got the most incredible croissant-dubliner hyrbid pastry. OUT OF THIS WORLD.) and falafel etc. it was such a great day and it made me want to go to slc more often.
• there is a four year-old fashion designer and she and her mom are crazy awesome. 

what's making you happy these days?

let's all hope this week is better than the last couple of weeks!

will you be my meow-entine?

you know you're with the perfect person when you find yourselves sitting on the couch, watching tv, and eating leftovers with your kitties at your feet on valentines day.

no sarcasm whatsoever.

i love my husband.

whirlwind.

this week has been quite the whirlwind.

so, most of you know that i teach a group of elementary kids (all boys!) with emotional and behavioral problems. i started the year off with eight kids and got a couple new ones as the year progressed. we are a super tight-knit group and i just love my students! these kids are extra awesome because they are so accepting of everyone and are extremely friendly and kind. no matter how hard it is for me to get out of bed sometimes and face another day, once i see my kids, my attitude completely turns around because they all make me so happy. i just can't say enough good things about them! 

last week, wednesday to be exact, i received an email saying that i would be getting a new addition to my class who would begin to come to my class on tuesday. two hours later, i received another email telling me that another student (a little girl) would also be added to my class, also beginning on tuesday!

i think it's safe to say that i am scared out of my mind.

friday, i met with the new little girl's parents and she got to come visit the class and see what her new school would be like. the first time i saw her, she ran up to me, threw her arms around me and said, "mrs. lake, mrs. lake!!!!! i love you!" my anxiety eased a bit, but i was still a little concerned about how the boys would treat her. 

after we walked into the classroom, my sweet boys lit up and were so excited to meet their new friend. in fact, one of my kids showed her where her desk was and even pulled out her chair for her! she was even able to come out to recess with us and the boys just treated her like she was one of them. as i watched them all play together, i felt so much love for my students. i felt so grateful for their sweet personalities and how much they care for each other. the little girl's parents kept saying how special these students were and how they had never seen a group of kids (let alone a group of older boys!) accept their daughter as quickly as my kids did. it was the most heartwarming sight to see, and i would be lying if i said i didn't shed a few tears watching them.

a lot of these kids have experienced some pretty severe abuse and trauma in their lives. they are used to being known as "the problem kids" or "the bad kids" and the majority of them have had to change schools because their teachers just couldn't handle their behaviors. i wish that all those people who had given up on them or hurt them could have seen them this afternoon as they reached out to this little girl and made her feel like she belonged. 

for as difficult and frustrating as this job has been thus far, i couldn't be more happy or grateful to have had this opportunity to get to know these sweet boys. they have taught me more about compassion and love than i ever thought possible. 

this post brought to you by binford tools

i don't know if it's the cold weather or their budding love, but these kitties just love to cuddle each other!

one of my new years resolutions for 2014 was to blog every sunday.

so far i've totally nailed it.


in all seriousness, i simply forgot what my resolutions were (which i think is the number one way to not achieve those resolutions) and just never thought to sit down and write about stuff.

i think my other excuse for not writing is the fact that nothing that exciting has happened lately. just the regular school and work stuff.

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yesterday t and i helped his sister and her husband move into their new place, which is this super-nice basement apartment with all-new everything and a walk-in closet in the master bedroom and a huge kitchen with lots of counter space and i'm drooling now.

i just walked around their place and thought about our tiny basement apartment with all-old everything and a small closet in the master bedroom, and our tiny kitchen with like three feet of counter space and i felt myself growing more and more jealous.

i hate feeling jealous.

as we drove home, i told t about how i turned into a big, green jealousmonster while we were there and you know what he said (other than, "isn't it great that we only have to pay half as much in rent as they do?")?

he said, "well, let's use that feeling and make our home nice."

the man is a genius.

i'm grateful that we get to live in such a great place with our little family and kitty-children. now we can show our gratitude by taking pride in our apartment and making it nice and homey.

so, let's consider 2014 the year of (home)improvements.
*insert tim allen noise here*

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have i mentioned lately how much i love being a teacher?

i really love going to work everyday.

it's definitely not an easy job (by any means) and sometimes those kids really drive me nuts, but there are days that are just pure magic.

for instance:
on friday, i told my class that if they worked really hard in the morning, we could have a dance party before lunch.

they LOVED that idea and got so excited and all of them worked without complaining.

that dance party turned into a dance contest and, i have to say, those boys have some killer moves! it was a definite eight-way tie.

it was so magical and cute to see these kids do their signature moves to their favorite songs with 100% confidence, but it was even more incredible to see them cheering each other on and encouraging each other.

i just loved it!

my little band of misfits never cease to amaze me.

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it has been so cold.

teeth-chattering,
bone-chilling,
goose-bumpy,
nose-runny
cold.

i would really like to be here right now.

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and, finally, to all those who are feeling like me and need some encouragement to get through the dreary month of february, look no further than this song by the great wilson-phillips.

i am not embarrassed at all to say that i belted this song in my car four times in a row after class last week.

until next week!

The Very Best Year

Today is the very last day of 2013 and I have to say, I'm a little sad to see it go. 

I think it's safe to say that 2013 was the best year of my life thus far. It wasn't without its struggles, of course, but it was filled with dreams coming true and joy and love and success and overcoming obstacles and I just don't think any other year will match the greatness of 2013. 

In 2013, I...

1. Got engaged

2. Saw Bon Jovi in concert (thanks to my old job)

3. Quit my job and started looking into certification programs for special ed

4. Got married

5. Welcomed another member to the family (Ringo the kitty)

6. Traveled to Cleveland, OH for a work conference/honeymoon

7. Got into USU's ATP program

8. Got a teaching job (!!!!!)

9. Spent lots of time with family

10. Saw Deep Love again with the one I deeply love

11. Spent thanksgiving in Arizona with T's family

12. Spent 2nd Christmas in San Diego with the Nations of Jorgensen

See what I mean?! I don't think any year can top 2013, but I am very excited to see what's in store for us in 2014! 

Happy new year!